


What I Want To Be

by Bunsenpai



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Controlling Family, Gen, Self-Doubt, Troubled Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21741883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunsenpai/pseuds/Bunsenpai
Summary: The Exarch finally has the Warrior of Light in the First after so many attempts, now he can finally begin his plans to save the First. Yet, what is this hesitation in their eyes?-The Warrior of Light has finally gotten tired of being constantly ordered around. Coming to the First was no different.
Kudos: 12
Collections: Final Fantasy XIV Gift Exchange (2019)





	What I Want To Be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AtmaWriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtmaWriting/gifts).



The Crystal Exarch was startled by the tired look in their eyes. He attempted to reason it out of his mind. It’s been so long since he had seen them, it has been 100 years since they last met. He figured their quiet nature was from the shock of him pulling them into the First. Yet the way they stare vacantly at him as he explains the time difference between here and the Source. He waited a moment to make sure that they were paying attention before continuing his story.

“Amongst those who perished, Urianger clearly saw the fall of the Scions’ mightiest champion. He watched you die.” The news of their impending doom was the only thing that raised a brow. It struck him as odd, “I-I’m sure that such news is a surprise to you-”

“It’s not,” A chill rush down his spine at the ice in their voice. The warrior lets out an exhausted sigh, fingers rubbing the bridge of their nose. “Why am I not surprised that you brought me all this way to save something. You aren’t much different from everyone else, come here, fight this, save that. You are all starting to sound like a short orchestrion roll.”

The Seeker comes to a stuttering stop, the comment felt like a slap across the cheek. He tightens his grip on his staff, opening his mouth to explain how important this is. Only for no words to come out, not with their eyes staring at him blankly . It echoed the looks of someone who has taken in too much light.

“Exarch, how much do you know about me?”

An embarrassing noise slips out of him, the question caught him off guard. He had expected to be questioned about his identity, his method,  maybe even his small slip-ups.  Certainly not _this_. He's already revealed that he is also from the Source, but not how close he was. “I-I’ve followed your tales that have been handed down over the decades. They all spoke of your strength which is why I-”

“Picked me to become the hero of the First. Yeah yeah, I know about that. Before that, where I am from. Before even my battle with Ifrit.” His silence was all the answer they needed.  The Warrior of Light turned away from him and touch the weapon by their side as if they contemplated removing it  .  A wistful look settled on their face instead as they continued, “When you called out to me through the aether stream, I felt a spark of hope . I thought that you would take me away, away from all the orders and fighting.”

“I grew up in a... controlling family. Every move I made, every person I met, even every meal I ate are all planned by my guardian. I could not even take a breath without them knowing about it.” Their fist clenched at their side before smoothing out the material of their pants.  Their eyes dart back and forth between him and the crystal walls, voice becoming quieter as they continue. “I left finally have the chance to do what I want, to become the person I want to be.”

“Instead, I was taken fight after fight after fight; until I can’t do anything but bear the title of ‘Warrior of Light’... I never wanted it. I  just  want to  be left  alone.”

Every word they spoke weighs heavily on his stomach with questions swirling in his mind. They had ran away from home to finally have a choice. All this time, all they wanted was a break. Not as the Warrior of Light, but as themself. To have freedom once again to travel. To be free.

The air in the room has become suffocating, even long after the warrior has left him to dwell in his thoughts. What they said is true. In his rush to save them with his plan, he had never taken a step back to consider their opinion. On saving the First, on his plan, even on being saved.

The Exarch lets out a deep sigh, burying his face in his hands. _Wicked white, what have I done?_

**Author's Note:**

> I really like this prompt because it speaks to me as a person. My apologies, that this one is a bit short side but I hope that this fulfills Request #4!  
> Happy Holidays, Atma! May this year pass peacefully and your next year be all the more joyful.


End file.
